We live in an age in which love, sex and intimacy seems to be an epitome of many people happiness. Yes, we seek other ways to find happiness and fulfillment, but the divorce rate and the percentage of single parent families compared to families with two parents tell me that parenting is a minor parent or the marriage are wrong informed about the effects of divorce on their children. Parents who leave an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children are not in possession of any facts or are mistaken in their belief that divorce is in the best interest of children. The best of wisdom out there says that children of divorced parents suffer more than the children of unhappy marriages.Here are 7 reasons why parents should put the parents before marriage. 1. Children need both parents more than they need a perfect home The influence of parents, both men and women in the development of a child can not be underestimated. A good mother, brings together nutrition, protection and comfort aspect of the life of a child, while a good father takes his son the stability, security and strength. Mothers tend to be more emotional, more rational parents. Mothers tend to be more understanding, more decisive parents. A good mother can give your child a shoulder to mourn, while a good parent can show your child to get up and move on. Of course, a good father has all these qualities and shares the responsibility to provide your child with all your needs. But it is in the nature of a male parent to provide a child with answers and solutions and address as it is more inherent to a female parent to be protective of a child's emotional well-being and for being a good listener, without feel the need to give your child a logical solution to your problem. Having a parent present, both men and women in the home teaches a child to explore and develop male and female aspects of his own character. In adults there is a balanced healthy presence of both male and female characteristics. In women, the balance will tend to be more feminine and men more masculine. If a child is to have the best opportunity to develop emotional stability, then both parents are needed daily. Even the slightest shift in the balance will have an adverse effect on the emotional and intellectual development of a child.
2. A child is entitled to be raised by two parents Marriage is a choice that two people make for themselves. Rarely is altruistic or selfless. People marry because they find someone who brings happiness and fulfillment in life. Of course, there is also the promise of living to make the other happy. Although the phrase "for better or for worse" is still often said in the marriage vows, increasingly breaks this promise married couples find it a promise that can not or do not have.However, when a child born in marriage, have rights that far exceed the needs of parents. Although the couple wish was fulfilled in their personal relationship with others, a child has the right to be raised by two loving parents, loving and selfless: Parents who put the interests of their child before their own. Parents rarely make a commitment to their children at birth, but children should expect that their parents will do everything possible to give a stable and loving home in which to grow and develop. In a good parent, the rights and needs of their children always come before their own, no matter the cost to themselves.3. To be a parent is a moral obligation – not an option There is never a time as long as a father and son are living when not connected. While away, a parent will always be the father of her child. No divorce a child. There is a child say 'Sorry, I do not love, it simply will not work. "But when two parents say to each other, are to some extent, saying his son. Parents can give a rotation about the divorce saying the child's best for you in the long term, "but it's true – it is not. The prospect of a child is "not like you enough to stay together and make your marriage work" – if only unconsciously. While some may say "I'm glad my parents split up – I could not bear the screams," What would have said if his parents had found a way to make the marriage in order to maintain the family home together? Or are not even aware of the effects that growing up in a broken home has had on them? The love between husband and wife may decrease or even extinction, but the love of a good parent is unconditional and unchanging. A marriage can be dissolved and distribution, but love a good father has for his son can never be reduced and their commitment to their children can not be undermined or broken. The commitment that a parent has a child not a choice-based, is one based on moral obligation. It would be even better if it is based on unconditional love. How long would a good father to go to offer their children the best education they could, if you really loved him more than themselves? 4. A child deserves and hopes that during his formative years, children rely on their parents to show they are committed to them. They need to see that they are loved and know that your home is stable and secure. They need to know that no matter what the storms of the family must face together, the foundations of the family home can not be shaken. Children need the certainty that the love parents have for them is above your own personal happiness – which in fact comes before his love for others. When a parent puts the child's interests in the second of your account will make your child feel loved and second category. The child will begin to doubt their own worth and value to parents. After all, what kind of love that puts someone in second place? If a child does not deserve the unconditional love and eternal parent who does? Children are vulnerable and need protection. Parents have a responsibility to give their children the best parenting they can no matter the cost to themselves. A child has no reserves to fall back to cover the emotional deficit that results from growing up in a broken home. Parents, on the contrary should be prepared to enter into emotional debt if they have to make sure your child does not grow emotionally poor or disabled.
5. Spouses can expect a lot from each other, but children do not expect too much from their parents. Marriages are not perfect, neither are the parent-child relationships. However, a child deserves understanding, provision, support, affection and security Moreso than a spouse. After all, when two people marry, they make an agreement to love one another and anticipate each other's needs. When a child is born, no such agreement is carried out. A child only grows all that is expected to reach them. When a person in a marriage can not keep your part of the agreement, the other has every right to withdraw the agreement. Very often, when the love one has for the other depends on what you "get" of the relationship, if not 'get', then love dies. But this only works one way with a parent-child relationship.When a child ceases to be a perfect child, a parent can not leave or give up his love of them. The child still has a right to expect to be loved unconditionally. Children should not be anything to her parents, but parents have all their children. If a child stops loving a father as I would like to be loved, the father must continue to love your child, however. The child has no debt of love that parents pay. But if a father loves his son unconditionally, that child will grow to love their parents too. If a father loves his son more than themselves, the child removed from parents to a greater or lesser degree. Although good parenting your child fail to some extent, expectations of a child of parents are always right – even unrealistic. Good parents always understand that they are not married with children – who are closely connected and committed to their child and a child has a birthright to expect unconditional love and commitment of their parents, regardless of the amount of a child returns the affection of their parents or live up to their expectations.
6. There is a broken home a broken child Along the way, when a child is raised by a parent or two parents who live apart, something the child is lost or broken. Having two parents who could not find it in themselves to stay together to provide a stable home and will have an effect on a child detrhymental. Can not arise until later in life, but a person from a broken home can be difficult to make strong emotional connections with others. Statistics show that people in single parent households are less successful in life – even years later – that of families with two parents. While parents may argue that they separated for the sake of the child, in fact, it is rare that divorce always benefits a child. Growing up in a home where parents are still disconnected or disagree constant gives a child more stability and normalcy to grow where they have to deal with the loss of two-parent home. A child growing up in a broken home growing mourning for the intact home where parents are both available on a daily basis to give them moral support, emotional and intellectual development and essential for food. The best parenting can not be done over the phone or on weekends. The best parenting is done on a daily basis and in partnership with the other parent. No matter how parents try to justify the divorce will almost always result in a broken child.
7. Putting the first parenting can save a marriage Children should never be used as an excuse not to leave a marriage, but that may be the reason why a father would stay in a marriage. The difference is that if a parent knows that to give their children a stable home, loving and peaceful in which to grow given the best possible start in life, can give them the solution they need to work harder on their marriage if not have been a parent. Whereas, not leaving a marriage for the sake of a child is a way of thinking that can result in one of the parents put too much responsibility for their children that will bring personal happiness.If parents can take steps proactively to a marriage work, so your child has the home they deserve, they may find that your marriage becomes less of a disappointment. Focusing on the needs of their children and resolve to work on their relationship for the sake of their children does not necessarily mean that marriage is false or a sham. Just change the priorities of the union. Nor does it mean that the child carries the burden of keeping the marriage together. It simply requires a level to give the child to replace the desire of parents to make each other. Provide a child with a good home is one of the best reasons that two people can stay together. Who said romance, sex, or a great social life are the only reasons to get married? Undoubtedly, providing a child with a loving home is as good, if not, another reason to work in a marriage that all the others put together? The result of work on the marriage would not be to prevent the pain of separation from parents, which would be permanent and immeasurable investment they make in the development and well being of their children. If parents can keep their children at the center of his ambitions and desires, they can find ways not otherwise have done so to make your marriage work and as pleasant as possible and to provide their children with parents and home they deserve. Http://stayforyourchildren. Com
About The Author
Stephen Rees
Having worked at a difficult marriage for 20 years in order to bring up my two children my desire is to encourage and help other parents in a similar situation to do the same. My core belief on parenting is that a good parent can find ways of making a marriage work – even if not fulfilling – in order to provide their children with a stable, happy home in which to grow up.
The modern belief that leaving a bad marriage for the sake of the children has no evidential basis. In fact, studies on both sides of the Atlantic have shown that children who come from homes where both parents are present even if the marriage isn’t a good one, develop better emotionally and intellectually than those who come from broken homes. Parents who are considering divorce should take notice of this evidence if they truly want the best for their children.
My book “How To Be A Good Parent In A Bad Marriage” provides encouragement and support for parents who find themselves struggling to cope with the stresses and traumas of being a parent in an unhappy marriage, and shows how you can find happiness and fulfillment in life while being a great parent to your children.
http://stayforyourchildren.com